Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So vagazzling was a success
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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