....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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