It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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