You can't special order awesome
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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