Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize