My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize