Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize