Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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