No stitches, just platelets and will power
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize