she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
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He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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