I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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