Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize