TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize