Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize