Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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