Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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