You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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