You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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