is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
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So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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