just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
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I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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