she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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