just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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