now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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