U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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