he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
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He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
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Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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