We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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