I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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