Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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