Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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