Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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