I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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