Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize