Cold hands, warm shart.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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