He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize