last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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