69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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