hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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