Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize