Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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