I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
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Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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