We won't sleep together?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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