Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize