You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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