Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize