she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize