oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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