Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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