I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize