I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Apparently you make a good broom.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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