The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
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He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize